Have you ever come across people who feel they have the 'ministry of complaint'?

If someone says, “I need to speak the truth in love,” brace yourself… or maybe just run a mile!

Some years ago—partly triggered by receiving 600+ letters of angry (hate) mail during the Crusader name change—I made a conscious decision...

I would commit myself to the work of building people up, not blowing them up.

First and foremost, I believe this is the way of Jesus. But intriguingly, there’s also science behind the power of encouragement.

A number of years ago, a professor named Dr Elizabeth Hurlock conducted an experiment to observe how different types of feedback would affect the maths performance of 10- and 11-year-old children.

She wanted to find out whether it was more effective to praise, criticise, or ignore students.

So, each day, the pupils were given a maths test—and each day, they received feedback. One group was praised, another criticised, and the third was simply ignored.

By the end of the week:

• The praised group had improved their performance by 71%.
• The criticised group improved by only 19%.
• The ignored group improved by just 5%.

Don’t miss this: praise is powerful—it boosts performance.
But more importantly, it builds self-worth.

As American philosopher and psychologist William James once said, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”
That shouldn’t surprise us.

Think about it. When you buy a house, you hope its value will appreciate over time, increasing in worth. The last thing you want is for it to depreciate and lose value.

People matter far more than houses. And when we show appreciation to someone, what happens? Their sense of value and worth rises.

Not only that, but when a culture of encouragement is the norm, moments of challenge are easier to face—people know you're rooting for them.

And here’s the beauty of it—when we help others feel good, we feel good too.

Let’s make the daily choice to build people up, not blow them up. Let’s choose to speak life, heeding these words from Proverbs 12:25...

“Worry wears a person down, but an encouraging word builds them up.” 

When people thrive, relationships thrive—and when relationships thrive, work, life, and ministry flourish.

I'm so sorry if you've been deeply wounded by words. I pray you experience the loving comfort and healing that comes from Heaven. But resist the urge to pass that pain on. Reject blowing people up, and choose instead to build them up—with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Cheering and praying for you.

Matt