When was the last time you truly felt listened to?

When was the last time you truly listened to someone?

Our ability to listen well is a relational super-power that can become truly transformational - in life and leadership.

But let’s face it—many of us struggle to listen well (I know I do!).

There's a guy called Mark Brady who teaches ‘Deep Listening’ courses. He invites the participants to circle the last three letters in the word HEART i.e. ART. Then he asks them to ring the first four letters of the word HEART i.e. HEAR. Finally, they circle the whole word (HEART), and he reminds them that “the ART of HEAR-ing is the EAR of the HEART.”

Listening is a matter of the heart! When we listen with sincerity - genuinely wanting to hear and connect with someone - it's an expression of love.

David Ausberger, author of Caring Enough to Be Heard, writes..

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”

We also learn to listen with curiosity – genuinely wanting to learn.

After all, when you’re speaking, you’re repeating what you already know, but when you’re listening, you’re making space for discovery.

As Aristotle once said...

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d rather have been talking.”

Here are four listening practices we can grow in as we commit to healthy, compassionate leadership. We choose to listen:

• Intentionally: A commitment—a choice—an act of will
• Attentively: Engaging our whole senses and body – ‘listen with your eyes’
• Understandingly: With an open heart to learn – listen without agenda
• Actively: Responding appropriately to what’s been said

These actions take practice – that’s why we call them leadership practices. Because we’re committed to learn.

And as we commit to becoming better listeners, let’s reach out for help from the One who is the Greatest Listener of all—the God who hears the deepest cry of our hearts…

“Pour out all your worries and stress upon him and leave them there, for he always tenderly cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7 (TPT)

Listening is an act of love.
To lead is to love.
So to lead is to listen.

And while we’re thinking about listening, I’d love you to take a moment to consider the Reboot Your Leadership experience. It’s an opportunity to be part of a leadership coaching huddle where you can listen and learn from other leaders — and they from you. You can check it out at rebootyourleadership.com/experience (discounts and subsidies available). It would be GREAT to hang out.

May the Holy Spirit help you to grow in your listening as you seek to grow in your leading.

Who knows what you might discover?

Cheering and praying for you always,

Matt