Have you ever made a decision—with the best of intentions—that you almost immediately regretted afterward?

When I look back on my 18 years at Urban Saints, there is one moment in particular that I still feel the pains of great regret.

If I could turn back time, then this is the moment I would do differently more than any other.

It was a moment in my early years when I learned a powerful leadership lesson: good intentions don’t always lead to good decisions.

We were looking to hand over a ministry from Urban Saints to an outside organisation. While the ministry was doing well, it was clear we needed to be more focused—to do less, and do it better—so I was at least pleased that it would be able to continue outside of Urban Saints.

The conversations with the external organisation had been lengthy and, at times, difficult, but it felt like we were finally getting somewhere. All jobs seemed likely to be secured.

Then a bombshell hit.

They decided they wouldn’t take on all the staff and requested that we make the entire team—except for one admin-level role—redundant, including the ministry leader. Otherwise, the deal was off. They wanted the ministry’s resources, but not the people. It was such a culture-clash moment for us.

I was gutted. Disappointed. Shocked. And in my ‘good intentions’, I didn’t want the ministry leader to know this news—especially as he knew the people in the external organisation well. I didn’t want him to feel hurt or rejected by them.

So, rather than involve him in the final decision, we (the Trustees and I) made it without him. We chose to reject the offer and, sadly, just close the ministry.

In trying to protect him from the hurt of rejection, I ended up causing him even more hurt by excluding him from the big decision—particularly after over 20 faithful years of service.

It’s so obvious now. It was almost immediately obvious afterwards. Even now, I kick myself—why didn’t I involve him? I’m so grateful that when I asked for his forgiveness, he was gracious in giving it.

Sometimes, the most loving and kind thing is not as simple—or as easy—as we think.

So, next time you’re making a decision that feels fuelled by ‘good intentions’, pause. Ask yourself: Am I outworking this decision in the most loving and honouring way for the people concerned?

Who knew this leadership thing would be so difficult?

I'll close out with these inspirational words from James 3:17-18: "Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterised by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoys its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honour."

God, help us to be wise, brave ad kind.