It wasn’t a great start to my second year at Crusaders.

In September 2001, we were hoping to see over 3,000 young people at a major one-off weekend festival called Life-2-The-Max, held in Tatton Park, Manchester.

But when the weekend came, fewer than 1,000 attended. And despite it being a fantastic experience in many ways, we were now staring down a six-figure deficit.

Should I resign? I wondered.

A few weeks later, I took a prayer walk around Grafham Water lake and asked God, “Where did I go wrong?”

What follows is exactly what I wrote in my journal that day—what I sensed God was whispering to me in that still, small, gracious voice.

“I gave you the dream and vision for this event. It was my will that it should go ahead. But, you ran ahead with the dream without talking and listening to me along the way. You asked me to bless your decisions rather than ask me if they were the right decisions. You went beyond what I wanted you to do. You started to walk ahead of me rather than following close behind. Whilst I was at work before, during and after the event, I have allowed you to see the consequences of walking ahead without me. I do for this for one reason only. So that you will learn to walk every step, of every journey, hand in hand with me. Remember my word “Unless the Lord builds the house the labourers build in vain”.

Ouch. Nailed me.

It’s so easy to get ahead of God—or to lag just a little too far behind. And before you know it, you’re one degree off course. At first, it doesn’t seem like a big deal… but over time, that tiny drift leads to real trouble.

I’ve never forgotten the excruciating lesson the 30-year-old me had to learn and own all those years ago. I’m thankful the Trustees had faith in me to grow through it and make things right. Even more, I’m grateful to God for His forgiveness—and His merciful nudge.

Since then, I’ve done my best to learn what it means to walk in step with Jesus. To ask where He is already at work and how I can join in, rather than asking Him to bless my plans.

Before I’m a leader, I’m first and foremost called to be a faithful follower. That’s where it starts.

May God help each of us to keep in step with Him, and may we discover what He is blessing, and simply join in.